Lessons from Scooter

May 17, 2014 ~ Alina ~ 6 Comments

A few weeks ago I dogsat for my friend Audry’s dog, Scooter. I love dogs, but Scooter is a special favorite. He’s smart, sheepskin-colored, and extremely snuggly.

Little did I realize, he’s also a sage when it comes to life lessons.

Lessons from Scooter

1. Get up each morning like it’s the best day of your life.

Every morning he’d pounce on me, full of energy and enthusiasm like it was his first day of being alive. No coffee. No grumbles. Like a kid who gets to ride his favorite roller coaster. Every. Day.

2. Stare out the window.

There are beautiful things out there. Trees. Ideas. Cats to chase.

3. Stop and smell the roses (or the bushes and fire hydrants).

Walkies aren’t just for arriving places. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

4. Snooze.

Because who wants to work straight through a warm afternoon when there’s a soft blanket around? Besides, all the enthusiasm and walkies are tiring.

5. Cuddle up with the people you love.

Never miss an opportunity to show love through snuggles. Even when the person is in the middle of writing a novel.

Thanks, Scooter. I love you too.

Running

April 19, 2013 ~ Alina ~ 1 Comment

I don’t love running. Really, exercise in general doesn’t thrill me, with the exceptions of hiking and ballroom dancing.

Image courtesy of stock.xchng and sundesigns

But I do it, at least sometimes, because I know it’s good for me.

And ironically, it’s taught me some things about life.

Pace

Image courtesy of stock.xchng and iwanbeijes

You run differently for a 100-meter dash than you do for a 2-mile loop. A 26-mile marathon is a different skill entirely. You have to know in advance how far you’re planning to go, then pace yourself accordingly. At the Olympics, the long-distance “run-walk” stride may look slow, but you know those runners are going to last til the end. Some efforts in life are short-term and you give your utmost for a few hours, days, or weeks, knowing you can then flop down, exhausted. But if you’re going to last and continue having resources to give over the long-term, sometimes that means curbing your pace, conserving your energy.

Rest

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When I first started my running route through my neighborhood, I made it my goal to jog to the top of the hill without stopping. I made it, but then I stood at the top, bent over and gasping for breath, for at least five minutes. My lungs burned, my calves burned, and by no means did I want to run anywhere else after that. But a few weeks ago, as I started getting tired and sore halfway up the hill, I…stopped. Realized I didn’t have to achieve high marks on my imaginary goal. I listened to my pain, stopped to catch my breath, then ran on to the top feeling good and ready to continue (like pacing, rest is an element of long-term survival ). I realized that I didn’t have to wait until I was completely exhausted and feeling horrible to take a long rest. I could take a short one when I just felt tired. And then I could continue on with energy and a good attitude.

Thanks

Image courtesy of stock.xchng and MeiTeng

When running, there are two possible things to think about: the pain, or everything else. I can focus my mind on my screaming calves and how hard my heart is hammering, or I can enjoy the blue sky and the quiet places my routes take me. Sometimes even my body’s exertion is a cause for thanksgiving–legs that can move, lungs that can fill with clean air, eyes that can see the beauty around me. The act gives me a rush of adrenaline, helps me find the good even in an activity I don’t love.

Have you learned any life lessons from running? From any form of exercise?

What Car Shopping Taught Me about Relationships

September 15, 2012October 25, 2015 ~ Alina ~ 1 Comment

Here’s an unusual factoid about me: I’ve never had a boyfriend. Yes, you heard me right, 5th-grade girls from summer camp. It IS possible to pass the age of 18 without hunting boys for sport. Promise.

But though I may not have much experience in the area of romantic relationships, it doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about them. Sometimes a 3rd-party perspective is the most credible, and I certainly have a degree of objectivity. So I’d like to share some things I’ve learned about relationships…from the process of buying a car.

Free image courtesy of stock.exchange

What do a car and a potential marriage partner have in common, you ask? One is a high-tech metal machine that takes you places, while the other is a human being, full of opinions and dreams, with whom you will spend the rest of your life learning to meld. But both cars and lifelong relationships are huge decisions. And most involved decision-making processes have things in common. So as I was learning about transmission fluid and PSI, the writer in me was noticing things that could be cross-applied.

So here are the results:

1. Don’t start test-driving until you’re actually in the market to buy.

Though I’d saved enough money to buy a car long before this year, I decided not to start shopping until I knew I had the income to support it (insurance, gas, maintenance, etc.). Now I’m glad I did–because once I put my hands on Baby’s wheel, I was so dazzled that it would have been hard to let go, even if I’d been financially unready for her. You kind of have to stay away from Craigslist entirely until you’re ready for the possibility that you might buy a car. I think the same goes for dating and marriage. Yes, my dear 11-year-olds–I’m talking to you. Not in the market to buy, don’t start shopping.

2. Get plenty of advice from plenty of sources–especially some with credibility.

From the adult friend who coached me on used-car salesmanship techniques to my cousin who listened for rattles in the engine to the fellow Corolla driver who proudly declared that the trunk was large enough to fit 2 bodies…I got lots of advice before making my decision. Almost everyone over 16 has a story about buying, or at least driving, a car. No one person has all the answers, but by talking to lots of people, I got a big picture of some do’s and don’ts. Most helpful of all was the advice of my mechanic, a man who has made car health his profession for decades. When I got the go-ahead from him, I knew I could rest easy about buying this car. Similarly, when considering the possibility of a relationship, it seems sound to get all the input and advice you can, especially from those who are experienced judges of character.

3. Know the flaws you’re buying.

One of the people I asked for advice told me, “When you buy a used car, you’re buying somebody else’s problems.” Since I didn’t want to end up stranded on a highway somewhere, from the moment I saw Baby, I started to look for what those problems might be. Sure, it made me feel like a cynic as I cranked all the knobs, pushed all the buttons, and made sudden sharp turns, but I didn’t want to rush into a purchase only to regret it later. Baby (even I will admit) isn’t perfect, but her flaws are mostly minor and cosmetic. I can live with those things, knowing I can rely on her to take me places reliably and safely. Likewise, evaluating a potential mate thoroughly at first can help prevent breakdowns on the highway later.

4. Take time to make your decision.

Since Baby used to be a rental car, the company let me rent her for the weekend to do an “extended test drive.” Lesson learned: extended test drives are really, really good. I had time to discover Baby’s strengths and weaknesses, imagine myself driving her everywhere, and sleep on the decision before entering negotiations. I loved not being rushed or put on the spot. And I’ve had almost no buyers’ remorse. If taking time to make a wise decision is so important for a car that will last 8-10 years, how much more important is it for a marriage that will last a lifetime!

5. Sometimes you do buy the first car you test-drive.

People told me to expect to drive 10-12 used cars before finding “the one,” and to be ready to walk away if a car wasn’t right. I was ready to walk away. I honestly didn’t expect to find the ideal car the first time I called about a Craigslist ad. But all my prerequisites were in place: I was in a position to buy, I had lots of advice, and thanks to the extended test drive, I had a pretty good idea of what flaws I was facing. So when the first car that zipped into my life turned out to be perfect for me, I was ready to make an offer. It felt weird that I hadn’t experienced more options, but I know I would have been crazy to turn Baby down. Maybe it’s not necessarily about how many people you date, but about being ready when the right one comes along.

Free image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono and Freedigitalphotos.net

Blogiversary

August 30, 2012October 25, 2015 ~ Alina ~ 25 Comments

This Saturday, September 1st, marks a very special occasion.

It’s my first blogiversary!

Twelve months of blogging, oh my. It gives me cause to look back and trace the journey.

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Anusorn P. Nachol

Twelve months ago, I was fresh out of college, sitting down at my computer to start a career as a freelance writer/editor. I was finishing up the messy first draft of a 100,000-word children’s novel. Since then, I’ve picked up work as a tutor in addition to accepting freelance projects. The novel is now in its 3rd draft and is 25,000 words shorter. I’ve made new friends in the blogosphere and learned to use Twitter and Goodreads. In the last 12 eventful, rocky, sometimes nail-biting months, I’ve also learned a few things.

I remember rewriting my first blog post probably ten times. I was too nervous to share an imperfect work with the world. Now, whether I like it or not, I don’t have time to make each post perfect. Aunt Josephine tries to make sure my content is grammatically error-free, but sometimes my ideas come out half-baked. I guess that’s part of growth–admitting that not everything you do is perfect.

My first batch of blog posts were mostly academic. I stuck to writing about books, teaching, and the employment crisis of twenty-somethings. I thought I could only contribute what I knew. In December, though, I took a leap of faith and wrote about grieving during the holidays. Since then, a friend pointed out, I’ve invested more of myself into my posts. Books, Reading, and Writing are still some of my biggest labels, but if you read the sidebar, you’ll now notice topics like Caregiving, Conflict, and Singleness joining the repertoire. These posts, while sometimes raw, challenge me to honesty in my writing.

It’s also nice to get read. While it’s not something I have total control over, it’s nice to know that this blog isn’t a total waste of space on the Internet. Thanks to you, Best Beloved Readers, this blog has gone from 250 readers a month last September, to nearly 1000 this month. Over 8000 people have visited this blog in the last year! That’s exciting to me, and I’m grateful to you for continuing to read faithfully. A writer without readers may become, in Shakespeare’s words, “a tale / told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, / signifying nothing.” (Macbeth V.5)

Thankfully, that doesn’t appear to be the case. I’ve recently been honored to receive 2 blogging awards: One Lovely Blog and Very Inspiring Blogger. Many thanks to my friend Ellen V. Gregory, an Aussie writer who muses about books, writing, and occasionally cats, for passing them on.

I was supposed to share 7 things about myself in order to receive this award, but I think reviewing 12 months of blogging kind of covers my bases 🙂

And now I must nominate 15 other lovely bloggers for these awards. I’m going to break the rules again. I’ll give a shout-out to a few blogs I’ve especially enjoyed reading lately, but if you want to play, leave me a comment! I think you deserve the chance.

A few good blogs for your perusal:

Bekah Graham (Word-of-the-Day Toilet Paper), Rabia Gale (Writer at Play), Tami Clayton (Taking Tea in the Kasbah), Angela Wallace (Elemental Magic), and The High Calling (Everyday Conversations about Work, Life, and God).

Here’s to another twelve months of blogging!

What have the last 12 months held for you?

Cleaning Out

July 16, 2012October 25, 2015 ~ Alina ~ 7 Comments

For some reason, summertime always ends up being clean-out time in my life. None of this spring or fall cleaning business. Summer rolls around and I get the instinct to reset my environment, sort through the junk and piles–at least partially.

Some things are hard to clean out, especially books and papers. That’s why my room/office sometimes looks like this:

I’m a word person, and words are special to me. That means I keep old letters, journals, and books. (Sometimes it also means I have newspaper ads from 5 years ago…)

But there’s one collection of things that I recently found was much easier to throw out than I thought it would be: my high school speech and debate trophies. My mom, eyeing them gathering dust on the shelf, coolly suggested that I look through them. In under ten minutes, most of them had ended up in a cardboard box headed for the garbage.

I was surprised to feel so little attachment. At those weekend-long speech and debate tournaments, we students lost sleep, skipped meals, battled nerves, developed grudges, and drove hundreds of miles to turn our countless hours of practice into one of these trophies. Shiny affirmations of our excellence, they brought fifteen delicious minutes of fame in front of cheering friends and flashing cameras, plus bragging rights.

Six-plus years later, I didn’t remember where most of these trophies came from. When I hustled them off the shelf, they looked just like what they were: plastic and dust. I actually laughed a little at how nervous I used to be, hoping to make it to semifinals, finals, the awards platform. I was suddenly really, really glad that I spent my time in high school working for other things as well: public speaking skills, the practice of giving glory to God, strong friendships. These things remain useful and valuable to me almost every day of my adult life.

Of course, I did keep a few trophies–a few pieces of plastic that reminded me of special moments. A First Speaker award from a debate tournament where all the other competitors were pre-law-school boys. A cup from the national tournament where I dragged my giant portfolio of visual aids onto the airplane as my carry-on. A first place trophy from my 18th birthday, where an auditorium full of people surprised me by singing Happy Birthday to me on the awards platform. But I kept them because they’re memories, not because they’re trophies.

Anyway, my room still looks like a mess, so I’m signing out. Throwing out trophies just reminded me how much I want to spend my time now working for things that will last, that will still matter even when all the microcosmic stress and work is done.

So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross

‘Til my trophies at last I lay down

I will cling to the old rugged cross

And exchange it someday for a crown.

~George Bennard, ‘The Old Rugged Cross,’ 1912

Compass Living

March 24, 2012October 25, 2015 ~ Alina ~ 8 Comments

Are you a whole person?

I’ve been feeling tired a lot lately. Not just I-didn’t-get-enough-sleep kind of tired. The kind of tired that sets in the moment you wake up and see another sunrise–knowing it’s another day of the hamster wheel, running as fast as you can before you drop.

It’s called burnout. This kind of tiredness dulls my mind, numbs my creativity, and makes me feel excited about nothing. It feels like growing old before my time.

Why? I’m young and healthy; I’ve got a family who loves me and some great friends. I’m doing work I’m passionate about. Furthermore, I know God loves me–I have purpose and significance in that. But I’m still tired.

A tough conversation with my ever-wise friend Audry shed some light on the matter. (She also just posted a great blog about fighting off creative distractions here.) Whether your work is knitting, writing, painting, composing, or delivering sermons, you know that being creative takes a great deal of mental energy. It’s a God-like endeavor: creating ex nihilo, allowing us to be little singers of the Song of God.

But it’s draining.

And more than that–it’s crookedly draining. Creating involves a lot of sitting around and thinking, squeezing those little gray cells to imagine things that no one has ever seen before. Sometimes to put in those long stretches of intellectual labor on our Works In Progress, we shut everything else out.

But we humans are like four-pointed compasses. Rene Descartes only had part of the picture when he said, “I think, therefore I am.” Thinking is part of our being, but we’re also more. Being human means we’re not only brains, but also feelings, bodies, and souls. And if we only exercise our brains, we start to wear down all on one side like lopsided erasers, while simultaneously feeling unfulfilled in those other parts of being.

Maybe this was why I was tired. So this week I set out to experiment with my routine. I decided to give myself permission to stretch and exert the other three points of my compass, in hopes of restoring my mental freshness and creative vitality–and enjoying my life.

There are some things you know by studying about them. And there are other things you know only by doing them. One of these things is physical exertion. No amount of doctor-talk about the health benefits of exercise can describe how flushed and vital you feel after coming home from a 30-minute traipse in sprinkling rain, your head full of ideas and your blood pumping to write. Better still–a hike in the hills, overwhelmed with the beauty of emerald grass and shifting sunlight, brilliant poppies and clouds traveling overhead.

Another such thing of such indescribable value is time with people, and with God. E-mails and Facebook simply are not a substitute for time with friends, family, and the Holy One. You’ve got to have face-to-face time, quantity time, especially if you spend much of your work time in relatively isolated conditions. I’m a schedule-bent efficiency junkie, but I’m realizing that not taking time to be with people will kill my energy and desire to meet the day–so I’m actually more productive when I spend time with people, away from work. More time than just exchanging “good mornings” in the kitchen. Likewise, hasty prayers are like IOUs with God that stack up–they don’t bring the soul-healing peace of extended times of contemplation and praise.

Trying these things this week has brought the life rushing back into me–joy, energy, creativity, and a desire to live the life I have. It’s easier to be thankful when you take time to notice what’s around you: the beauty of the world in spring, the humor and kindness of the people around you, the way your lungs fill with air and your eyelashes sparkle in the sunlight. It brings back the wholeness of being human–the way life was intended to be.

What do you do in your schedule to nurture wholeness in your life? What are your habits for fostering mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being?

Why Work?

March 17, 2012 ~ Alina ~ 2 Comments

I spent yesterday morning in a tax accountant’s office, summing up the last year of my life in terms of dollars and cents. A rather dismal prospect, I must say.

Not only did I realize that I am living on a starving-artist budget, but I also realized that I can only keep about 70% of it, because the U.S. government is automatically entitled to the rest. Depressing.

On the bright side, it’s a blessing to have taxes to pay this year. It means I actually have work! After earning a degree in English and entering an extremely tight job market, work is a huge gift. And it means that dividing my time between writing, editing, tutoring, and blogging is more than a pipe dream. This is my job!

Which leads me to the lesson I learned from taxes yesterday.

Work is not, cannot be, just about making money. Many times I’ve thought of abandoning the writing and going to work in something more lucrative, just to have a good, steady salary. But what then? The more you make, the more the government takes (the joy of income tax). If you work hard and work is only for the purpose of making money, then poof! You lose 30% of your year’s labor every April. It just vaporizes, gone.

All that was left when I departed the tax accountant’s office were the other reasons I work–so I was glad I had some. Why work, other than for money? I think things like job satisfaction, knowledge that you’re helping people, pride in the quality of your work, good relationships with colleagues, and belief that what you’re doing matters to God and the world are what really matter in a job. No government can tax this income.

And when I started evaluating my jobs this way, I was encouraged. So I’m making peanuts? So what? I’m working with what I love (words), spending time in an environment I like, and believing that what I do with my time each day is making a difference. I’m following the vocation to which God has called me and sharing the words He’s given me with other people. I was made to do this work, and I’m doing it! Praise God!

And to top it off, I read this verse, Deuteronomy 12:7 last night, reminding me of the joy of good, God-blessed work: “You and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the LORD your God has blessed you.”

So is there really more to work than making money? What do you think makes a good job?

Life According to Road Signs

January 20, 2012October 25, 2015 ~ Alina ~ 4 Comments

While on vacation the week after Christmas, my family and I drove the infamous Road to Hana. It’s a highway that follows the beautiful, rainforested north shore of Maui. However, “winding” would be the understatement of the century about this road. It is famous for its more than 600 curves (most of which are blind hairpins) and its 59 bridges, 46 of which are one-laners according to Wikipedia. According to me, that’s a generous estimate.

While my mom was dodging tourist convertibles and avoiding sheer cliff edges, I was taking pictures of the road signs. Road signs are something I always find interesting, because they can be read to have double meanings about life, guidance, and following God. But on the tortuous, sometimes terrifying, incredibly beautiful Road to Hana, their messages seemed heightened, especially when I thought about lessons I’ve learned during my last 4 1/2 months of freelancing.

The road to the future can be winding (and sometimes the curves are blind).

Sometimes you defer to the ideas of others with more experience, especially when you’re young.

You don’t always get there as fast as you want to.

Sometimes you run into roadblocks.

But eventually you get going again.

And the journey can be beautiful.

Sometimes it’s just plain funny, too. Part of the adventure is learning to laugh, to find the humor in the midst of 600 hairpin curves. Sunshine sometimes comes in weird and wacky forms. Like these bizarre signs!