Even on Tuesdays, Dreams Do Come True

October 15, 2014 ~ Alina ~ 3 Comments

About 11 years ago, a hopeful teenager bought a red sign that said “Future Award-Winning Author At Work.”

She hung it on the doorknob of her cave during writing sessions. It motivated her, kept her optimistic. (It also warned the family not to disturb her unless the house was burning down.) She wondered if someday she’d be able to cross out the word “Future.” As she prepared to release her first novel about a year ago, she even blogged about that dream.

Well, yesterday it came true.

At about 11 AM, I received The Call, informing me that The Illuminator’s Gift had won a silver medal in the Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards! I entered this award back in July and was just coming to the conclusion that nothing was going to come of it (as many of my contest entries have over the years). But some dreams do come true, even on Tuesdays!

Among 1,300 international, independently published entries, The Illuminator’s Gift was second place in the Best First Book (Chapter Book) category! The full listing of contest winners is here (TIG is in category #38)! I’m over the moon (no pun intended) with excitement. Writing books, while full of passion and purpose, can be a long and lonely road, and validation from the outside is a welcome exhortation not to give up. Especially since there’s a lot left to do on Book #2 before its December release…

After a dizzy day of trying to work in spite of sheer euphoria, texting friends, and celebrating with family, perhaps the sweetest moment was when I took my gold sharpie and did something I’ve dreamed of doing for a very long time. I crossed out a word on my red sign.

I’d like to send this photo back in time to my shy, geeky high school self, the girl with the pimples and the big vocabulary, who wondered so often if her dreams would ever become reality.

Hang in there, girl. Believe in the gift you’ve been given. Someday the future will be the now.

Spring Miracles

March 14, 2014 ~ Alina ~ Leave a comment

I never can decide whether spring or fall is my favorite season. Both are beautiful, offering change and new directions, the beginnings of new roads and opportunities.

But with spring outside, ready to touch, see, and smell, I’m feeling a bit swayed toward the beauty of this season.

It’s in the living buzz of the bees as they stuff their pockets with pollen.

It’s in the scalloped edges of the new leaves, still sticky from their buds.

It’s in the outrageous colors of the flowers, outdoing the imagination of any fashion designer.

It’s in the unshorn grass, joyful to be alive and growing.

It’s in the unfurling petals, reaching toward the sun.

It’s the magic and mystery of the world coming back to life, of beauty and expectancy, of wonder even in the tiniest of vessels.

And so I pay attention.

Because each day is its own kind of miracle.

Broken Bones and Cookies

October 13, 2012 ~ Alina ~ 8 Comments

Well, I was going to write an elaborate and fascinating post on used bookstores.

Hopefully I still will, at some point. But not today. I’ve got something else on my mind.

Chocolate chip cookies.

Free image courtesy of Stock.xchng and superfloss

I usually have chocolate chip cookies on the brain in some form or other. Warm on a napkin, with the chocolate just a little bit melty, they make my shoulders unclench any time of day. I’m an absentminded baker who tends to calculate quantities wrong, but for these cookies, I try harder to get them right. They were one of the American delicacies I missed most in Britain. But now they’re on my mind for a different reason.

It was Wednesday night, a hard night, a gloomy night. An odometer-raising, package-juggling, asparagus-and-tears-for-dinner night. Grandma’s not doing well, and the pressure had me full under its thumb that night. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee, but though I love talking to her, I just didn’t want to on Wednesday. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to sit and watch British TV until my mind melted into oblivion. I texted her.

She came anyway. Showed up on my doorstep, skipped coffee. Carried in her hands a green recyclable grocery bag. Containing chocolate chip cookies.

People say all kinds of things to friends who are hurting. Sometimes they’re well-meaning things like Every cloud has a silver lining. Or God works out everything for the good of those who love him. Maybe they’re true things. But when the wave of suffering knocks you over from behind and tumbles you on the sand until your skin is scraped raw and you can’t remember which way is up, even true things don’t help.

Free image courtesy of stock.xchng and storm11080

Suffering is a quiet place, a place where the rules don’t work right and you have to reinvent the wheel. Like falling in love, it’s a different experience for every person, and it feels like no one has ever experienced it before. That’s why platitudes, no matter how true, don’t help. They’re words. And while I love words dearly, you can’t use them to set a shattered arm or leg. Like sticky, cheerful Disney-character band-aids, they’re utterly helpless to solve the mystery and horror of bone sticking through skin.

My friend couldn’t fix my problems on Wednesday night. She didn’t try. Instead, she listened with her full attention (I did end up talking) and gave me a hug (thank you, dear). The chocolate chip cookies she brought said I don’t have all the answers. But I love you anyway. And somewhere between soggy Kleenex and melty chocolate pieces, I found the strength to keep going til tomorrow. That’s what helps.

Lately music has been helping me where words fall short. So if you’re in that quiet place tonight, reinventing the wheel or staring at shattered bone, here’s a song that another friend showed me today. It’s not a solution. But maybe it’ll be like chocolate chip cookies on your doorstep.